The poor handjob is one of the most ignored and neglected sex acts for anyone with a penis. Maybe because it has “job” in the name, some people just don’t love doing it. Or maybe it feels boring or less sexy than other things you can do with a penis. But a handjob is a great way to connect, to have sex when you’re both exhausted, and to do something “new” when your sex routine starts to feel boring.
Here are a few tips to give a better handjob so it’s something both you and your partner look forward to!
Be Gentle in the Beginning
According to relationship expert, Carmel Jones of TheBigFling.com, “gentle foreplay is usually very appreciated. Handjobs are no exception.” Very few of us want high intensity from the very first touch, so maybe don’t start a handjob like you’re trying to start a fire. “Before going full throttle into a handjob that might feel like a gym workout, start out by using your fingertips to gently tease your partner. Trace them around the shaft, tip, and balls. Get his juices flowing before barrelling right into it!”
Ask What Your Partner Likes
If this is your first time giving a handjob — or the first time in a long time — you don’t have to be an expert in your partner’s sexual pleasure. And regardless of what you might have heard, it’s not a turn-off to talk about your mutual pleasure. Jones says, “Asking how your partner likes to be pleased is anything but a turn-off, and here’s why: nobody is going to be as good as your partner at pleasuring your partner with a handjob! So, along the way, check-in. Ask how they like to masturbate, if something feels good, and if there’s anything they want you to try.”
Lubrication Makes It Better
Lube is always a good option, but a great handjob can go a step farther. “Swirling around someone’s own juices as a natural lubricant is a gigantic turn on that won’t go unnoticed. When your partner begins to emit precum, lather it around the tip of the penis and work it into the shaft,” advises Jones. That’s right, get your hands “dirty’ and wet to make the handjob easier for you and better for them.
Don’t Forget the Balls
The focus of a handjob is usually the shaft. It’s where most guys prefer to be touched, and with enough stimulation, it’s how your partner is getting off. But that often means the super-sensitive and definitely-an-erogenous-zone testicles are forgotten. Jones says, “The dual sensation of massaging the shaft and cupping the balls will drive your partner wild.” So be gentle, but get your hands and fingertips down there.
Stroke the Perineum
While we’re not forgetting the testicles, let’s continue venturing a little further back. While some people love some anal play during a handjob, you don’t have to go that far to make the moment special. If your partner (or you!) are into it, start small with the perineum. It’s the area between the base of the testicles and the anus. When stroked just right, it can feel amazing — and potentially lead to more explosive orgasms.
Pay Attention to Foreskin
In the U.S. a lot of penis’s are circumcised, but that’s not 100 percent true for every American. And in other countries, a penis with foreskin is much more common. So if your partner still has his foreskin attached, don’t ignore it. Jones offers up this bit of advice, “Pay attention to the way it moves so that you can lightly use it as an aid. For example, let the foreskin gently massage the tip of the penis for added pleasure.”
Get Into the Moment
You can do everything technically right, but if you’re not into it, it shows. Sean Galla, founder of MensGroup.com, advises making it clear that you want your partner. “Guys don’t want a hand job for the strokes. They want to feel desired. Get into it. Act like you want them. Look like you’re enjoying the process. That is what drives men wild.”
Conclusion
Giving a better handjob isn’t about getting it over with as fast as possible or the amount of strokes it takes. Like everything else in sex, it’s about finding what works for your partner, turns them on, and helps them experience pleasure. Communication and paying attention to their responses are just as important as the lube you use and the exact way you touch the shaft, testicles, or beyond.
Do you like giving or receiving handjobs? Why or why not? Let us know down in the comments!
