Regardless of where you rank on the sexual scales of horny and curious, anal sex can be scary the first time around. Unlike a vagina that self-lubricates from arousal and foreplay, the anus needs manual preparation.
Does that mean you just relax and go for it when you feel ready? Hmm, not so fast. At Jack and Jill, we recommend using anal training toys to ensure you’re completely comfortable before switching to a dildo or a penis.
Allow us to explain a few things about anal sex.
Lube, lube, lube
When it comes to butt sex, there is no such thing as too much lube. Women, if you’ve ever felt vaginal pain from not being wet enough prior to penetration, you can imagine how painful it would be back there.
If you plan on using a sex toy in your bum, you can’t go wrong with a water-based lubricant. Have your partner start by massaging a small amount on the area and increase as needed.
Setting expectations
The key to enjoying anal sex involves understanding how to avoid pain. Some discomfort is okay—even expected, as you aren’t yet familiar with the sensations of anal sex. To put it bluntly, inserting an object into your butt is likely going to mirror the sensation of having to poop. Not exactly sexy. However, slight discomfort should not be confused with pain. If it hurts, you’re likely doing too much too soon and not using enough lube. Take a break, breathe, and start over.
Fingers first
Start by taking a few deep breaths and allowing your partner to explore with his or her hands. Did you already forget the lube? Tsk. Tsk. Apply a quarter-sized dollop to your anus and the wandering fingers. Try a pinkie and if it feels good, switch to an index finger. If that feels good, slowly work up to two fingers. Sphincter training implies just that—training. Don’t try and imitate a thrusting penis at this stage—just work on stretching the anus slowly. Guys, manicures aren’t just for women. Lose the hangnails.
Hygiene matters
Use an enema for a thorough cleaning before any anal penetration. And, if you remember nothing else, remember to never go directly from the anus to other orifices – with toys, fingers, or other body parts – because of infection risks.
Anal sex toys
Taking the leap from fingers to toys is a great segue into the real thing. While some claim anal training toys are unnecessary, butt plugs, beads, vibes, and dildos can all stretch the anus to prepare for larger objects and/or his penis. Besides, necessary or unnecessary, they feel damn good and they’re safe.
Jack and Jill
When shopping for anal sex toys, be sure you buy one with a flared base for easy removal. Never, under any circumstances, stick household items up your bum. That’s how ER visits happen.
At Jack and Jill, we know that backdoor sex can feel incredible once you’re finally relaxed and ready, but please know it’s okay if you don’t prefer it at all. Experiment, but know your limits. Talk dirty, but don’t be afraid to laugh. Whatever you do, enjoy yourself and be proud of the fact that you stepped outside of your comfort zone!
