Adult Store Weirdest Requests
Working in an adult store for eighteen years, I thought I had seen it all. But sex shop life always finds a way to surprise you. From unusual requests to laugh-out-loud misunderstandings, every day on the job feels like a new chapter in a wild story.
Our clients range from nervous first-timers to bold regulars (including plenty of adventurous women), and each person brings their own flavor of strangeness to the shop.
One minute I might be talking about the weather with a customer, and the next I’m talking them through the features of a vibrator! Guys and women alike wander in with curious eyes and sometimes very specific needs.
As a seasoned retail worker, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected — and to find the humor in all of it. I’ll recount some of the strangest, funniest requests and encounters I’ve experienced selling sex toys and other spicy goodies. Grab some popcorn (nothing else, please) and enjoy these true tales from the back room of our sex shop.
Adult Store Confusion: “Do You Sell That?”
One evening, a guy came in looking literally like he’d seen a ghost. Clutching a shopping list, he asked me in a hushed voice, “Do you sell cucumbers here?” I blinked, wondering if I heard him right. For a moment I assumed he was teasing – we sell realistic dildo shapes, sure, but produce? He clarified that his wife had read online about a DIY hack involving a cucumber! I steered him in a safer direction to get a proper toy.
Then I showed him our selection of suction cup dildos (those can stick to a surface, freeing your hands – and definitely safer than salad ingredients!). I even pointed out a bright green one for comedic effect. We shared a chuckle as I explained why silicone is preferable to actual food.
By the end, he left with a phallic toy in a discreet box and Gender x Spa Day Water Based Flavored Lubricant – in mint, lime, and cumber flavor! And I had another bizarre story under my belt. Moral of the story: when in doubt, skip the produce aisle and head to an adult store for the right tool.
Gender x Spa Day Water Based Flavored Lubricant 4oz – Mint
Under the Counter and Over the Line
Every adult store worker eventually encounters the person who thinks we offer more than merchandise. One middle-aged guy once approached the counter with a hopeful grin and a rather creepy vibe. As I rang up his purchase, he leaned in and quietly asked (even implying he’d pay double), “So, uh, any chance I could get a demonstration of this at home? I’d pay extra for full service.” He even winked. I nearly choked on my gum.
It took me a moment to process that he was basically propositioning me. Keeping it professional (and resisting the urge to gag), I replied, “Sir, this is a retail store, not that kind of service. We sell products here – that’s it.” I made sure to point to the “No Public Indecency” sign near the register, just to drive the point home.
He left looking embarrassed, and I promptly scrubbed my brain with brain-bleach. We refuse any such services – absolutely no exceptions. As wild as our products can be, I can at least box them up and go home at the end of the day.
Dealing with a client who wants me as part of the package? Nope, that’s where I draw the line. My job can be a blast, but it doesn’t include servicing the merchandise – or the customers!
One Guy’s Search for the “Tentacle Thing”
This story still makes me giggle. One guy shuffled in, eyes darting around, clearly on a mission. He whispered, “Do you have those, um, tentacle things?” It took me a moment (and a few clarifying hand gestures) to realize he meant a tentacle-shaped dildo he’d seen in some anime.
It so happens we carry a vividly colored one—the Lava Tentacle-Shaped Dildo that looks like it swam out of a fantasy ocean. When I showed it to him, his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas (though this gift was definitely not for kids!).
He couldn’t pay at the register fast enough. I’ll never forget the image of him walking out the door with that bright tentacle box poking out of his bag. As a worker, I live for these moments – who knew my retail job would one day involve explaining how a faux tentacle can improve your love life?
The Case of the Returned “Used” Toy (Ew!)
If you think handling new products is wild, wait until you hear about the returns. We have a strict no-returns policy for obvious reasons (hygiene, people!). Yet there was one guy who marched in with a box and a receipt, demanding a refund for a vibrator because, quote, “It didn’t work the way I wanted.” Now, policy aside, I was curious – was it faulty? So I asked what the issue was. He said it was “too weak” and that his wife “couldn’t even feel a thing.” (In my head, I’m thinking, buddy, maybe that’s not the toy’s fault, but I digress.)
I carefully inquired if the item had been used (I assumed the answer was yes, but I had to hear it). He explained that they gave it a thorough test drive. At that point, I politely refused the return, pointing to the clearly posted policy.
He got angry, drumming his fingers on the counter, and actually said, “I’ll clean it, I’m not trying to get free stuff – I just want my money back!” He even had the gall to ask if we have a “satisfaction guarantee.” I had to act calm and point out the huge “All Sales Final” sign he must have walked past (he clearly didn’t pay attention to it).
He stood there drumming his fingers on the counter, getting more agitated by the second (seriously, guys, a word of advice: sex toys aren’t like electronics – you can’t return them used and expect your money back!). I empathized, but stood firm that we could not resell a used item, no matter what.
After some huffing and puffing, he left in a huff with his well-used friend. Handling customer complaints is part of the job, but that was one return I was happy to say no to. Some days, the phrase “buyer beware” takes on a whole new meaning.
The “Cute Fucker” Fiasco
A woman walked in one afternoon and asked, “Do you have that cute fucker with the fuzzy tail?”
Now, I’ve worked in an adult store for eighteen years, and I’ve heard toys called a lot of things—some accurate, some wildly off—but this one made me pause. I wasn’t sure if she was joking, misinformed, or just really confident in her own product naming system.
“Cute… and fuzzy?” I asked.
She nodded, “Yeah! Like a butt thing with a tail. I saw it online. It’s cute. Kinda looked like something out of a cartoon, but, you know… sexy.”
It hit me—she meant a tail butt plug. I walked her over to the display and showed her the Foxy Tail Butt Plug. Stainless steel base, fluffy faux-fur rainbow tail—adorably functional.
She gasped, “Yes! That’s the little fucker!”
We both laughed. I told her that name might just stick around the shop. She picked it up, proudly walked it to the counter, and left grinning.
Moral of the story: never underestimate a customer’s creativity when it comes to describing sex toys. We might not always know what you’re saying at first—but we’ll figure it out together.
The Friend
Late one night, right before closing, a nervous guy came in and made a beeline for the back of the shop where we keep the more, shall we say, extreme sex toys. He lingered near the bondage gear and giant insertables with a deer-in-headlights look.
Being the responsible worker, I approached to see if he needed help. After a lot of throat-clearing, he claimed he was shopping for a friend (sure, buddy). His “friend,” he said, was into unusual stuff and had asked for something to, quote, “shock and awe.” Eventually, it came out that the friend was actually him, and what he wanted was a huge 18-inch double-ended dildo and a Taser-like electric wand (the kind used for kink, not actual self-defense!).
He called it his “shock and awe” special request. It was one of those moments when I had to maintain a poker face. I helped him pick out the items, gave the standard safety spiel, and even explained how to use them without ending up on a gurney. He nodded earnestly the whole time.
When I cracked a tiny joke – “Tell your friend to read the manual, okay?” – just to tease him a bit, he finally smiled, appreciating that I wasn’t judging. He happily paid and left with a bag of goods heavy enough to double as a doorstop.
Once the door closed, my co-worker joked, “Guys will try anything once, huh?”. We both had a good laugh at that. We were just glad this client felt safe enough to share. Sometimes a client just needs you to play along with the “asking for a friend” act. We’re not here to judge – just to help people live their best (and weirdest) sex life.
When Fantasy Meets Reality
One quiet afternoon, a woman walked in clutching her phone like it held the secrets of the universe. She looked around nervously, then walked straight up to the counter and said, “Okay, this might sound weird, but… do you have the dragon egg?”
Now, in an adult store, that’s not even top ten for unusual questions. I leaned in. “Do you mean the toy that looks like a cracked egg?” She lit up. “Yes! With ridges and kind of a… zipper texture? It’s supposed to feel like you’re laying it. My friend swears by it.”
I knew exactly what she meant and walked her over to the display. “You’re looking for the Creature Cocks Dragon Hatch Silicone Egg,” I said. Her face immediately turned the color of the toy—deep red.
She laughed nervously. “Wow. It’s… beautiful? I didn’t expect it to look so….”
The textured silicone surface, the dragon-head tip, and the sheer size of it made it clear—this wasn’t your average toy. But she was ready. “Honestly, I just want to try something totally different. I’ve been kind of bored with the usual.”
I explained how to use it safely: water-based lube only, wash before and after, and store it in a cool place. She nodded like she was preparing for a mythical quest. “So I just… lay it?”
“Yep,” I said. “Embrace your inner Khaleesi.”
She cracked up. “I swear, if this thing hatches, I’m naming it Steve.”
She left with the dragon egg carefully wrapped in tissue paper, like it might actually break open. I stood there for a second, realizing that after eighteen years, I’m no longer fazed by a stranger walking in to ask for a fantasy-themed ovipositor toy. That’s just another Tuesday in this job.
Creature Cocks Dragon Hatch Silicone Egg – XL – Multi Color
Kinky Queries: A Day in the Life of an Adult Store Worker
Throughout these tales, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the sex business, it’s that nothing fazes me anymore. As an adult store worker, you adapt to fielding all sorts of questions with a straight face and an open mind. I’ve had clients nervously ask how to introduce a toy into their love life, and bold customers proudly show me the exact model on their phone that they want (sometimes an anatomically unusual one at that).
I’ve been asked if we sell cameras for homemade content, if our website has a secret back page for swingers, and whether we can gift-wrap a dildo as a prank (I did it, by the way, with a big bow on top – it was for his friend’s bachelor party, and yes, it was a huge hit). In fact, some requests verge on pure comedy.
Rentals, Glory Holes, and Other No-No’s
We once got a phone call from a guy – actually, he called asking if he could rent a high-end love doll for a bachelor party (nope, we don’t do rentals—absolutely no sharing toys between customers! If you want a doll, you gotta pay and own it—no rentals here!).
Another time, someone poked their head in and called out, “Do y’all have a glory hole in here?” (For the record, we do not; we’re a retail adult store, not an interactive exhibit!). I’ve been asked if we offer a frequent buyer card, if we pay for used DVDs, if we sell furniture with built-in restraints (yes), a curious lady once asked if we carry a bed with bondage hooks, and whether we can gift wrap a sex swing to look like a normal piece of furniture (that one we actually managed with enough wrapping paper and creativity).
Honestly, for every group of frat guys daring each other to buy the wildest item on a dare, there’s a shy couple or a pair of curious women quietly comparing bullet vibrators (some still call them “massage wands” to sound polite). For some adventurous lovebirds, browsing our aisles even counts as a playful date night – nothing builds trust like picking out a new toy together.
The mix of male and female customers from all walks of life is what keeps this job so fascinating. I’ve seen packs of giggling college girls browsing for bachelorette gifts (think candy dick lollipops and silly sashes), as well as polite older male customers and timid women stepping in for the first time.
And if you think it’s only the young crowd: I’ve also seen a troupe of grandmas treating themselves on a girls’ night out, proving fun has no age limit. In short, male or female, young or old – everyone finds something to love here. Life here is never dull. It’s part customer service, part therapy, part stand-up comedy. And you know what? I absolutely love it. The best moments far outweigh the frustrating ones. Every day I step into the shop, I know I’ll have a new story to tell by closing time.
Conclusion: Embrace the Weird and Wonderful
After eighteen years in this biz, I’ve come to realize that normal is overrated. The weird requests, the belly laughs, the “I can’t believe that just happened” moments – that’s the good stuff. Those are the stories I’ll be telling for the rest of my life (around select company, of course!). And if you ever harbor a truly bizarre question or desire, don’t be shy – chances are we’ve heard something like it (and if not, we’ll be excited to be your first!).
So here’s to the next curious client who walks through our door with a strange request – I’ll be ready with a smile, an open mind, and maybe a pen and notepad to jot it down for the sequel. Fun, after all, is what you make of it, and in our adult store, we make it weird, we make it wonderful, but we always make it memorable. We welcome everyone – singles, couples, and even those on a quirky date night – men, women, and anyone in between.
At Jack and Jill Adult, each client brings a new adventure, and every customer experience has the potential to become legend – even the most unusual requests can turn into unforgettable tales. So if you’ve enjoyed these little peeks behind the curtain, why not come create a story of your own? Swing by your friendly neighborhood Jack and Jill Adult store or visit our online adult store. Whether you’re looking for something vanilla or chasing the next outrageous thing you heard about on a forum, we’re here to help – no judgment, plenty of puns.