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Alpha Male on the Streets, Sub in the Sheets

Alpha Male on the Streets, Sub in the Sheets

May 7, 2025 by Joey Moore

Picture this: a guy walks into a room and instantly owns it. He’s strutting down the street with a sly smirk, shoulders back, making eye contact with everyone like “Yeah, I’m the boss.” In public, he’s the textbook alpha male – dominant handshake, commanding voice, leading the group, full of swagger. But behind closed doors? That same macho man might be on his knees, happily handing over the reins to his partner without a hint of shame.

Shocking? Hell no – it’s 2025 and real life is wild. Welcome to where Mr. Alpha on the street can turn into Mr. Sub in the sheets. In this article, we’re diving into this spicy double life (with a wink and a whip). We’ll answer all the burning questions about male dominance, secret kinks, and why an “alpha” dude might actually prefer being the sub once the bedroom door closes.

How to Tell if a Guy Is an Alpha Male?

How do you spot the dominant in a pack of guys? Generally speaking, an alpha male announces himself without saying a word. It’s in his body language and how he carries himself. He’ll walk into a bar or a boardroom with his head held high, like he owns the place. This dude talks the talk and walks the walk. You’ll notice a firm handshake, steady eye contact, and that don’t-mess-with-me posture. He often steps up to make decisions and take charge of a situation. People tend to either admire him or roll their eyes – but either way, they’re talking about him.

A true alpha male isn’t about acting like a jerk or shouting to be heard (that would be a mistake). Instead, he has a calm, confident demeanor. He commands respect rather than demanding it. You can tell a guy is a leader when others naturally look to him to decide, and he doesn’t shy away from that role. In short, he’s the person who moves through the streets with a swagger and an aura of authority that says, “I’ve got this.”

Alpha Male in the office

What Is the Body Language of an Alpha Male?

An alpha male’s body language is bold and unmistakable. Of course, every person is unique, but there are telltale signs. First off, posture: he stands tall, shoulders back, taking up space like he belongs. He’ll walk with purpose – no slouching or shuffling for this dude. You might see him casually drape an arm over a chair or stroll in like he owns the room. His gestures tend to be controlled and deliberate (no nervous fidgeting). When he speaks, his voice is steady. He makes eye contact like it’s his job.

In short, if someone walks into a room and you instantly sense who’s in charge without a word uttered, that’s the vibe. He doesn’t need to puff his chest or get aggressive; his relaxed but assertive stance does the talking. A confident male’s body language basically says, “I’m comfortable in my own skin.”

How Do Alpha Males Treat Their Girlfriends?

So, how does Mr. Tough Guy treat the women in his life, especially his girlfriend? Here’s the scoop: a genuine alpha male typically treats his girlfriend (or wife) with respect and affection… albeit in his own way. He might be protective as hell – the type who walks outside the sidewalk and puts an arm around her in crowded rooms. This isn’t caveman male dominance; it’s more about the instinct to protect someone he cares about. A solid, strong partner wants his woman to feel safe and loved. Strong women don’t threaten him; he’s proud to have a girlfriend who can hold her own.

Some alpha males are old-school gentlemen: opening doors, paying for dates, and doing their fair share of planning. The key is that a true real man doesn’t put his woman down to feel big. If he’s really secure, he’ll treat her like a queen in public and support her dreams.

If a man treats his partner poorly – controlling, disrespectful, or cruel – then he’s no real alpha at all. He’s just an asshole (or as we like to say, a bitch in disguise). A true secure male lifts his partner up, never breaks her down.

Bondage Couture 6 Piece Kit – Blue

Bondage Couture 6 Piece Kit – Blue

What Is Alpha Male Weakness?

What’s this alpha male’s kryptonite? It might not be what you’d guess. Ironically, one big weakness is the pressure to always be in charge. Being the go-to guy 24/7 is exhausting and time consuming. Men often feel they must maintain that tough-guy image at all times – no showing vulnerability, no asking for help. Society often assumes men are supposed to be rocks, never shedding a tear. But bottling up emotions and never relaxing can backfire. Even the strongest dude needs a break.”

Another potential weak spot? Ego. Some alphas get so high on their own status that they hate admitting when they’re wrong or need advice. Refusing to show any softness can become their downfall. The truth is, every man is human. Many of these dudes secretly crave a chance to let someone else lead once in a while. It doesn’t make him weak – actually, recognizing when to let go of control is a sign of strength. Once he accepts that showing a little vulnerability isn’t the end of the planet, he can finally breathe easier.

 

[Do Alpha Guys Like Giving Up Control in the Bedroom Infographic]

We asked our Jack and Jill Adult Readers on Instagram if they think alpha guys like giving up control in the bedroom

Alpha Male Infographic

Alpha by Day, Sub by Night – Why Some Men Flip the Script

So why the fuck would a man who’s king of the concrete jungle by day want to play the sub at night? Believe it or not, there are solid reasons. First off, being in charge all the time is exhausting. Even the most confident guy sometimes thinks, “Can someone else take over tonight?” After a long day of making decisions at his job, he loves the idea of handing off the reins. Letting his partner lead in the bedroom is a relief – he can stop speaking for everyone and just focus on feeling good. Giving up control can be a huge benefit for a guy who’s always “on.” It’s like a mini-vacation from being the boss.

Then there’s the thrill factor. Doing the opposite of what’s expected is hot. Our take charge guy spends all day in full control; at night, giving that up is a major rush. It’s taboo, it’s unexpected, and that makes it exciting. He discovers obeying orders can feel downright naughty.

It also comes down to trust. For a man used to running the show, handing over power is a huge show of trust. He’s basically saying, “I trust you to take care of me when I’m vulnerable.” That deep trust can bring partners even closer. Plenty of women are bosses too. A modern alpha male respects that. He might be CEO at work, but he’s totally cool with his lady being the boss in bed. He’s secure enough to let his woman shine – and that is sexy.

Alpha Woman in the bedroom

The Fantasies

Lots of high-powered men secretly fantasize about being dominated – it’s practically a cliché. By exploring his submissive side, he gets to live out scenes he’s only dreamed of. Maybe it’s being tied up, spanked, or just ordered around for once.

Whatever his vision of a wild night is, he can create it with a willing partner. And once he gets a taste of being on the receiving end, he’ll likely be back for more. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s experiencing pleasure in a whole new way. Plus, his partner gets to have her pleasure calling the shots – a total win-win for their sex life. And truth be told, he’s not alone – plenty of high-powered women secretly enjoy flipping the script.

What Is the Definition of a Sub in Bed?

“Sub” is short for submissive. In a sexual or BDSM context, the sub is the person who gives up control to a dominant partner (the “dom”). Essentially, the sub agrees to follow the dom’s lead during intimate fun. They might obey commands, wear a blindfold, get tied up, or just enjoy having their partner call the shots. What is the benefit for the sub? They get to experience intense pleasure without having to be in charge of anything. It’s a huge turn-on for someone who finds excitement in surrendering.

Importantly, being a sub doesn’t mean being a doormat or having no say. Submissives actually hold power too – they set boundaries and use safewords to stop play if needed. In other words, a sub willingly hands over control, but only within limits they’re comfortable with. It’s a role based on trust and connection. So, the definition of a alpha male sub in bed is simply: the partner who enjoys being led, controlled, and pleased by the dominant partner. They say, “I’m yours to tease and please,” and they mean it.

Saffron Spreader Bar/cuff Set

Saffron Spreader Bar/cuff Set

What Is the Role of a Sub?

The role of a sub (submissive) is to complement the dom’s lead in a consensual power-play scenario. Basically, the dom drives the car and the sub rides shotgun, enjoying the ride. The sub’s job is to let go and follow the dom’s directives during their sexy time. They might kneel, follow commands like “stay still” or “beg,” or embrace whatever fantasy is being played out. By yielding, the sub helps create an intense experience for both partners. Their obedience is what makes the dom-sub dynamic work.

A good sub gives feedback through moans, body language, or a breathy “yes, more,” letting the dom know what’s working. They’re actively engaged in pleasing and being pleased. In essence, the sub’s role is to explore the erotic energy of giving up control, while trusting the dom to make it mind-blowingly sexy. They serve, they surrender, and in return, they get one hell of a ride.

What Does “Freak in the Sheets” Mean?

When someone says “freak in the sheets,” they mean a person who seems ordinary or reserved in public but is sexually wild and uninhibited in private. In slang, calling someone a freak in the sheets is usually a compliment. It means they have a kinky, adventurous side in the bedroom. Think of it as the opposite of being shy or vanilla during sex.

“Freak” here doesn’t mean anything bad – it’s just shorthand for a sexually liberated, anything-goes kind of lover behind closed doors. In short, a freak in the sheets is someone who looks all normal on the streets, but in the sheets, they’re bringing the heat and then some.

Prowler Red Turkish Knot Whip Black

Prowler Red Turkish Knot Whip Black

What’s the Saying About “Freak in the Sheets”?

You’ve probably heard the phrase: “Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets.” That’s the classic line describing someone who is classy and well-behaved in public (a lady in the streets) but wild and naughty in private (a freak in the sheets). Basically, it’s saying you or your partner has that perfect split personality: respectable out there, and a total freak behind bedroom doors.

Usually, this phrase refers to women. But there’s no reason it can’t apply to men too. Our article flips it around – Same concept, just gender-swapped. The idea remains: a public image that’s all prim and proper (or tough and in charge), contrasted with a private side that’s freaky and adventurous. It’s a popular saying because, let’s face it, it’s pretty hot to discover that your straight-laced partner has a secret sexy side.

Alpha Woman holding cuffs

Unleash Your Inner Alpha Male (and Your Secret Sub)

At the end of the day, being a boss in public and a submissive freak in private isn’t a contradiction – in fact, it’s becoming common knowledge that men under the most pressure often love a chance to let loose. A man can be a take-charge boss by day and happily say “Yes, Mistress” by night. Embracing both sides can bring a relationship to its full potential. You get the best of both worlds: running the show when it counts, and enjoying wild fun when you want. No shame in that! In fact, it’s all about choice and pleasure for both partners – something any feminist (or just sensible person) can get behind. If anything, a man who’s secure enough to be both alpha and sub is living life on his own terms (and having twice the fun).

Curious to flip the script? Talk it out with your partner. You might be surprised how many tough guys secretly sigh with relief when their girlfriend whispers, “Mind if I tie you up tonight, and fuck you with a strappon?” If you’re both game, go for it.

Start simple – maybe a blindfold and some teasing touches. Or spice it up with a beginner’s bondage kit: a pair of cuffs, a blindfold, maybe a little spanking paddle. (Psst, Jack and Jill has plenty of goodies for that.) The first time he feels those cuffs click, he might just grin ear-to-ear – finally, he gets to relax and revel in the moment.

And for the women out there with these alpha-by-day, sub-by-night men: enjoy it – you’re getting the best of both worlds in bed!