Man Steals Three-Foot Tall Dildo From Sex Toy Shop

We can all imagine stuffing a small item into a bag or down our pants in an attempt to steal from a store (but never, ever do that!). But how did one man take a three-foot dildo from a Las Vegas sex toy shop? Apparently, by picking it up and walking out with it without a care in the world according to the surveillance footage.

A literal masked man (bonus points for protecting himself and others from COVID-19??) walked into the Deja Vu Love Boutique in Las Vegas on July 14, 2020, and walked out a short time later with Moby, a three-foot dildo weighing in at 40 pounds. The gigantic dildo was on sale for $1275.00, though valued at around $2000. As of July 21, the dong thief was still at large, though how anyone could miss a guy walking around with a massive schlong is anyone’s guess.

The store has released the surveillance footage and is offering a $2000 reward in hopes of finding the dick with the dick and returning Moby to the store. If returned, it’s assumed the giant phallus will be back up for sale once it’s been thoroughly cleaned, but maybe it needs its own security guard from now on.