Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past several decades, then you’re aware of the process known as “sexting.” In the 90s, not everyone had access to a cell phone, so texting was usually done in the form of naught instant messaging, chat rooms, or even e-mail. Technology is wonderful, isn’t it? These days, you’d be hard-pressed to find an individual who doesn’t have access to a smartphone with camera and app capabilities. In this regard, the game has changed dramatically. It seemed that only a decade ago, our flip phones with their low-res graphics were game-changing implements, but things are quite different in this day and age. The phones we carry can take high-definition video and pictures, allowing us to sext one another and leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.
Advantages in the Modern Age
As technology exists in a constant state of progression and evolution, it’s only natural that we would seize the opportunity and take advantage of what it has to offer us. When it comes to sexting, there are a remarkable number of advantages that it offers us. While some still prefer the aspect of writing letters and receiving lengthy compositions which extoll the deep adoration and love we have for one another, sexting is slightly more instantaneous than this method.
In the past, our friends and colleagues might have found a long-distance relationship somewhat difficult and odd. Sexting not only allows more instantaneous communication but allows us to experience the sights of one another even if the two parties live a considerable distance apart from one another. Technology has allowed us to be closer to one another, even though distance can vary slightly.
Some Things to Remember
Aside from long-distance relationships, several dating apps have allowed us to meet new people with the click of a button. While there’s the excitement that meeting someone new and seeing what may develop, there are a few things that one should remember before partaking in their sexting adventures.
- Don’t rush into sending nudes too quickly. Allow any sexting conversation to grow organically, asking too soon if the other person wants to see your body without being obscured by clothes may come across as desperate and a red flag.
- Talk about boundaries. Establish early on what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Having a mutual agreement and consent between parties is one of the most important aspects of sexting.
- Be sure that the person is trustworthy. Some people give off red flags that way some people hand out business cards. If something feels amiss or sketchy then it probably is and should be avoided.
- Check the recipient before sending any messages or photos. While this seems redundant, picking the wrong name in your list of contacts is an accident that many make on a regular basis. The last thing you want is for your boss to accidentally receive a photo of you in the buff.
Sexting Etiquette: What to Do
While you certainly won’t find the rules of sexting engagement in this Post’s Guide to Etiquette, they’re just like any other social interaction that you undertake on a regular basis, there is a substantial amount of what’s acceptable and what causes contention. Because good news should always be first, we’ve gathered up things that you should do that involve sexting.
- Develop Trust & Obtain Consent Before any conversation you have that might become lurid and photo exchanges that will be “revealing”, it’s important that you develop trust with the party on the other end and that you obtain consent before any exchange. Don’t just spring something on the fly. (Don’t be that person.)
- Talk About Turn-Ons and Fantasies Just like any other escapade that sets your passions on fire, you should be open about your fantasies and what turns you on. This will allow the both of you to find a common ground that you can enjoy, or possibly some new worlds you can explore.
- Ask Questions and Contribute to the Answers Madonna once remarked that “people never say what they want, so they never get what they want.” This is true when it comes to having the perfect sexting experience. Ask them what they want, ask them what makes them aroused, this will give you an idea of how to steer the conversation. Once you have the answers, contribute as much as possible, it’s a group effort and not a solo one.
- Pace Yourselves It’s not a race to get yourself off. It’s supposed to be a gradual pace so both of you can savor each moment that passes. No one likes a quickie.
What You Shouldn’t Do
Just like the proper manners you would exercise on a date, there are certain things you should never do via sexting. Just as they’re plenty of things that will make your experience more enjoyable, there are others that will instantly deflate and experience and cross lines that may not be easily mended.
- Never Cross Boundaries, Personal or Otherwise When you obtained consent, some boundaries were most likely set by the two of you that you agreed upon. Going outside someone’s boundaries is not just rude, it gives someone every right to break off contact with you.
- Don’t Lie About Your Current Location The golden rule of any internet or anything not directly in person is “only believe half of what you hear.” If you’re in a crowded room or on public transportation, don’t lie to the person on the other end and say you’re in the privacy of your own home. You run the risk of having your private life exposed to someone who doesn’t need to know.
- Don’t Send Anything Without Consent While you might be an exhibitionist, the person you’re speaking to may not be. Don’t surprise someone with a photo of your neither regions unless you have permission to do so.
- Don’t Share Someone Else’s Photos or Messages That Have Been Shared with You What happens during sexting should ALWAYS stay mutually exclusive between the two of you. Even if there’s a falling out, don’t turn something into revenge porn. It’s terrible and vile behavior that should be partaken in.
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