As a woman, I’m always a little curious about how to defy the aging process, especially regarding sexual pleasure. Nobody likes to think of themself as growing old; okay, maybe when we’re young, we look forward to growing up, but as we get older, not so much. For me, the journey of discovering ways to tighten my vagina was due to breaking my pelvis.
Try Kegel Exercises
Let me start by saying that Kegel exercises are not for everyone, meaning they will not help every single woman on the planet have a tight vag, the way they say. Yes, they help, and it’s a learning process on how to do the proper technique; however, if you have suffered certain injuries to the pelvic floor muscles, it can hurt more than help – so be mindful. There are a lot of people who over-glorify kegel exercises, making it sound like trying it once will give you this amazingly tight vagina, but like any exercise, it takes a little bit of work.
Learning to Squeeze
It cracks me up when I read articles written by men about how to do these, as they have no idea what it feels like to have a vagina. Please read about it all you want, but trying it out firsthand gives a different perspective. While some might say to try it with your finger, which is a good way to get to know your vaginal canal, you can just as easily squeeze a dildo.
Helps Urinary Incontinence
One of the best bonuses about learning how to do Kegels is that it helps with urinary incontinence. That’s one of those topics that people don’t like to discuss. Still, it’s a reality when women get older, as is the risk of a cystocele, which is when the bladder bulges into, or out of, the vagina – one of those scary female things people don’t talk enough about. Stuff like having large, natural vaginal delivery puts you at risk of developing that later in life, and when nobody tells you, and if you’re like my friend, getting in the car to go to the store and pausing like, what?
Laying An Egg?
When it happened, she said we needed to go back into the house, and I needed to look down yonder for her, as something did not feel right. Not knowing what to expect, it was frightening when I saw the fleshiness popping out of her vaginal opening. Upon closer inspection, I did not see hair, and it was smooth, causing me to ask, “are you laying an egg?”
Prevent That Scenario
Yeah, so if you hope to prevent that type of embarrassing scenario, kegel exercises are a good thing to learn. They have specifically weighted balls, called kegel balls, that help with this pelvic floor muscle performance. Start with a small set, usually two round balls that are either marble or metal, put up inside your vagina, and try to hold.
Stand up. Try to keep the balls inside. If they fall out, try again and squeeze harder.
Ben Wa Balls
While kegel balls are designed to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, many women have also found them pleasurable enough to introduce their “cousin,” the ben wa balls, which are called orgasm balls, venus balls, and geisha balls, amongst several different names. Varying up designs to include more like an egg-shaped and vaginal cones, using different materials, such as plastic, which may or may not be weighted. Often, these names can be interchangeable, as you will hear women incorporating ben wa balls into their pelvic floor exercises. It is still the same idea to strengthen pelvic muscles. Instead of calling them kegel balls, we will refer to the weighted balls as ben wa balls.
Vaginal Canal Press
To produce strong pelvic floor muscles, the ben wa balls, or Kegel balls, come in various weights and sizes. The idea is that you start small or with a lightweight, increasing the size and weight. This will continue to work the pelvic floor when using ben wa balls of increasing weight, just like you’d increase weight when bench pressing for weeks.
Reasons to Kegel
There are plenty of reasons to learn how to kegel, and it’s not justfor after birth. Yes, it can help with intercourse, as you learn the art of tightening and releasing on your partner’s member, and when you can time this right for yourself, it only makes your orgasm that much better. Sure, doctors will tell you many reasons to exercise, and the main reason that I learned was due to my health, including after surgery, like when my doctor told me I’d never have a tight pussy since I had shattered my pelvis, messing up all the ligaments and tendons; I had to try.
Mastering the Art
While I had tried to master the art of Kegels before my accident, trying to see what these guys were talking about by squeezing on my finger, but after my surgery, it was a whole different ballgame, as I could not have penetration for a very long time due to the pelvic injuries. First, I had to learn how to walk again, then I could worry about penetration. In the meantime, all I could try to do was the occasional kegel, convinced my doctor doomed me to having an oversized sloppy one until I could escalate up to squeezing on sex toys, which I found easier.
Hard Pulling Out
If it’s hard to pull the dildo out, then you’re doing it right. If it slides out too easily, try harder to squeeze your snatch. The muscles are inside of you, which is why it’s hard to find at first.
Clenching On It
The thing to understand about Kegels is that you learn the art of contraction. Once you know how to clench down a dildo, try doing it on your partner. Try alternating tightening and releasing while you are having sex, and see if your partner notices, as they likely will.
Ask For Feedback
Don’t be scared to ask your partner for feedback. Tell them that you are learning to do kegels, try to contract, and ask if they can tell when you contract versus release. Feedback can help.
Support Anal Sex
Most people can use these exercises during sex with the anus, too. Tighten and relax on your partner during penetration—no matter the position, you can try to squeeze.
The Little Trick
This little trick during intercourse will not only increase your sexual well-being and help with bladder control (not just urinary continence but also stress incontinence), but it will increase your sexual confidence and sexual satisfaction with better sexual intercourse. As women hit menopause, this will help with vaginal health and vaginal laxity by strengthening the vaginal walls. If you want a how-to guide, when you get your first ball, wash with antibacterial soap, lather up with water-based lubricant, stick the balls in the vaginal opening and try to squeeze.
Plump It Up
Vaginal laxity, by the way, is when the vaginal tissue starts to thin out a bit. The lips might not be as plump as they used to be, in other words. The squeezing motion of kegels not only increases the strength of the pelvic floor but it increases blood flow to the groin, which will only help make your next sexual contact down there all the more intense and amazing.
