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The Loofah Code

We were discussing retirement home sex the other day in the Jack and Jill Adult office, and I got clued into this loofah code.  Whether it started as a myth or not, the popularity of the notion has gained so much credibility that the color of a loofah, whether hanging from a golf cart or on a door knob on a cruise ship, or another community environment, can signify what you’re into as far as a swinging lifestyle. There are all sorts of seemingly innocent signals to subtly send out to others to express your interest in an alternative lifestyle without saying a word.

Learning the Code

That pure innocence of novices and beginners is embodied in a white loofah. That signals more of a vanilla experience level. It also shows you are at least open to it.

The Purple Watchers

Purple notates a voyeur, also known as people who like to watch. They might not want to get all touchy-feely with others for whatever reason. They would rather sit back and enjoy the show in front of them.

Rosy with Interest

Pink is a soft swap for people who like to do it with others in the room. They might not want strangers to touch them, but they don’t mind putting on a show for those voyeur friends to watch. Who doesn’t like to be the center of attention?

Blue to You

Blue is the lowest level of full swap, or those who can play well with others. There might be a little apprehension or lack of experience, but it’s an openness to try more.  It might not be a full bisexual play structure, but someone who does not mind a little extra affection.

Yellow is Cautious

Mid-level swap is yellow for those who want to fool around but are nervous. They might not be into some dirty acts that others get into, but they don’t mind being around them.  They will put on a show or fool around with others, but they still have limits and reservations.

Beware of Black

Black is reserved for those that get down and dirty, full swap. Pretty much anything goes. You never know what to expect with one of these experienced swappers, as they might be able to teach you new tricks.

Double It Up

Teal is Bisexuals, increasing the chance for a date. Girl, guy, whatever in between, they’re into, no judgment, just fun. They may or may not be as kinky as the black loofa crowd, but they’re not as discriminating as some others might be regarding gender interactions.

The Upside-down Pineapple

An upside-down pineapple on the door is a secret sign of swingers, including ones used as door knockers or painted onto the garage door. Even using the pineapple emoji, as well as the unicorn emoji, signals an alternative lifestyle. When you see people sporting attire with pineapples, especially ones turned upside down, give them a telling wink and nod.

Telling Swinger’s Jewelry

Something as innocent as ankle bracelets, toe rings, or thumb rings can be a secret signal to indicate a swinging lifestyle to potential partners, as can wearing black rings on your right hand, so be sure to wear your black ring as a subtle symbol to other swingers. More noticeable is when wearing the vibrator necklace as an underground signification that you’re down.

Simply wearing the combination of black and red can be another telling sign, especially a red ball cap, as can swingers code jewelry, such as wristbands with a specific design like circles intersecting or female signs arranged horizontally to indicate a specific club that helps identify fellow swingers from the same club, available in colors coded similar to the loofah idea, for the not so flashy types like indulgent premiership footballers, inventors of dating apps, the big time sales director or an international male with a tell-tale sign of way too much wealth to spend on whatever might seem to amuse him.

Decorating the Yard

Some cite that white landscaping rocks mean you’re not so innocent and into wife swapping, with a ring of white rocks around the mailbox for secret clues signaling that you’re into a group activity. Accents with pink and purple decorations in the front garden, a big exotic plant like pampas grass, and even the normally innocent garden gnomes and pink flamingos can be a subtle hello to others, a sign of swinger activity. They say having a hot tub is also a sign, but you cannot assume that just because someone has a hot tub, they always are into wife swapping.

When Visiting Granny

So, next time you visit your grandparents at the retirement community, pay attention to what color loofahs you find lying around the hallways that happen to be hanging on people’s doorknobs or off of the antennas from their golf carts. Those old people might be into some kinkier stuff than you would imagine. This is why older people in these communities with physical disabilities often benefit from items like sex machines and sex furniture to help them get off comfortably. It may be mindblowing to picture granny in a sex swing and sling, but it is a reality. As you get older, you only get more jaded, so you have to expand your horizons of sexual things that you’ll consider trying, and before long, you’re an old pro in all kinds of stuff.

Old People Sex

Some of the nurses I have talked to say that old people have the right to have sex just like everybody else. That means if a nurse walks in on two old people going at it, they’re supposed to let them finish. That means that even if one of your grandparents is dead and the other is left in the retirement community, it does not necessarily mean that their genitals are growing cobwebs, as they might be getting more action than you.

A True Story

The topic of this initial conversation was brought about by me, telling a story of how I met my ex’s parents for the first time – well, mom and stepdad, by all fairness. It seemed like a typical southern home, with great hospitality, including homemade food that was phenomenal, and as I was making my plate, the mother asked if I would want to join them in the living room are watching the movie. I’m not sure which movie I was expecting, probably something like Fried Green Tomatoes, but I certainly was not expecting to be biting into my mashed potatoes and have her turn on the middle of a circle-jerk gang-bang porno scene.

Stroke Me, Baby

At that point, the stepfather walks up and starts stroking my hair like I am a dog. The mother keeps telling me that she never thought she would like those types of parties but that I had to go with her at some point to experience it. She said she was a little apprehensive at first, convinced she would not like it; she was the center of attention, being the oldest, as many younger people wanted to know what it was like to be with an old person.

The Closet Gimp

I wish I could say I was making the scenario, but this is just some of the stuff that happened in my real life. That was the first thing that clued me on how kinky some of these older people are, so if you think that Grandma is just crocheting you some booties, you don’t even know what she’s doing with her booty. Chances are, those older people have done everything that you have tried and a lot more, so just when you think that they don’t know what you’re talking about, they’re probably just pulling your chain and acting like they’re innocent while secretly holding the gimp in the closet to bust out for after your visit.

Behind Closed Doors

Remember that you never know what happens behind closed doors with sexual partners of alternative lifestyles. If you want to discover what it’s all about, wear a black ring on your right hand or your wedding ring on your right hand to indicate to many swingers that you are down to be invited to the next swinger party. From pink or purple decorations and pineapple garden décor to wearing a black ring and hanging out at hot tub superstore, there’s a bevy of secret swinger symbols that swingers wear to get the attention of the huge swinger community that they’re into swapping sexual partners, and while you don’t have to have hot tubs and garden gnomes to be into swinging, wearing a black ring is one sign to others.

No matter what a woman wears, if she gives you a very telling wink, black ring or not, you can pick up on her sexual preference. You do not have to wear vibrating underwear, a ring on your right hand, a jeweled butt plug, or do whatever common swinger trait to have fun. If you are open to it, others surely are as well, so never underestimate who’s into alternative lifestyles.

Check out some of my books. Follow my antics on Work with me directly on Skillr to find more information on various topics.

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